Breaking Barriers: Building Death Cafes for Black and Brown People
Breaking the taboo, facilitating end of life conversations in our culture
In my year of extreme uncertainty post layoffs from social impact work, I allowed myself to explore and recover from corporate burnout. While watching Erykah Badu’s interview on “ The Breakfast Club” she mentioned being a birth and death doula. The idea of a death doula immediately sparked my interest, as I’ve always had a morbid fascination with death. I researched and came across a Death Doula Volunteer Program at Mount Sinai Hospital in NYC. The timing was perfect— I interviewed and was accepted into the program months later.
Through this experience, I’ve met the most beautiful beings of my life amongst my cohort, and I experienced a level of connection that I had been craving for so long. As someone who had lost faith in humanity and does not have a support system, I saw firsthand the immense value in showing up for those who may find themselves alone during the end-of-life process. Witnessing the impact of companion support on those who have loved ones present was truly beautiful, and it solidified my belief in the importance of this work. Sooo… I did a thing recently, I became a certified death doula based in Brooklyn, but also seeking to connect virtually.
While I am still exploring how best to utilize my certification and who I want to support in this world, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the vast number of people in need. However, I am driven by my social impact roots, core values of showing up for marginalized groups (LGBTQIA+, black/brown, disabled, etc), and my awareness of the racial disparities in the US, especially within the healthcare system. These inequalities center our needs for me in end-of-life care.
“Death does not discriminate.”
As I was doing market research with the idea to build my own death dinners and cafes, I noticed that the successful ones I came across were predominantly serving white communities. This made me think about the Black and Brown communities that I'm a part of and the taboo surrounding discussions on death and end-of-life preparations. There is clearly a huge gap within our culture. Despite coming from such rich cultures and spiritualities, why aren't we having these conversations? Why wait until we're on our deathbeds and sick? We should be starting those conversations from now as well. So, I asked myself: why not start these conversations now?
“Let’s bring life to the conversations about death.”
Join me in breaking the stigma around death and end-of-life, informal open conversations. Starting with a Discord channel 👈🏿, monthly in-person death cafes at Black and Brown-owned coffee shops in Brooklyn, and virtual cafes/events, we'll prioritize accessibility, inclusivity, and supporting local communities. These free services are about starting a conversation—let's continue it together, with my Tabanca death doula services coming soon. So, Pull up!
“Life is short”